


born to be hanged, never to drown

by dodgefred



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Sort Of, can i even call this bittersweet, crying by a lake, not explicitly dwsaverse but it can be, references to drowning, they poor and sad ):
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27719195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dodgefred/pseuds/dodgefred
Summary: “Was it something I said?” Georg asked.No. They barely spoke besides miniscule greetings between the time Otto came through the door and left. They barely ever spoke after work. And yet, at the same time, it was everything Georg had said. Or done. It was the fact that Georg hadn’t gotten a master’s degree right out of university, or the fact that Georg didn’t want to work if it didn’t involve music, or the fact that Georg and Otto never even spoke anymore apart from chaste kisses before Otto had to leave for his ten millionth shift every morning. But Otto couldn’t say that. He was quiet for a long time.
Relationships: Otto Lammermeier/Georg Zirschnitz
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	born to be hanged, never to drown

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [line without a hook by ricky montgomery](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7PSgR07uAQ).

The January air hit Otto’s face like a fist when he ran out of the house and down the dirt road and towards the big lake about half a mile away from his and Georg’s home. Shack would be a better word to describe it, but Otto liked to pretend to not hate it. It made him feel better about all of the shit jobs he had to do to keep Georg from starving. Of course, it was for his own sake as well, but Otto didn’t see it that way.

Otto worked three jobs- all manual labor at a lumber yard or a construction site or a junkyard. Sometimes he took up spare jobs carrying the bags of rich people at airports or hotels. Otto would do anything so Georg could continue doing what he loved. Georg was an artist. A piano player, to be exact. He worked a minimum-wage nine-to-five so he could save up for school. He had graduated from university a few years back with a degree in music and had gotten absolutely zero jobs in his field. His only options were to hope he was good enough to suddenly blow up, or to get a master’s degree in education. Unfortunately, masters degrees were really fucking expensive. So while Otto worked to pay the bills and to pay for food, Georg saved for his education so that hopefully he could someday he could have a job where he got to do what he loved. He hated children, but he loved the piano.

Otto had passions and dreams, too. He had always wanted a boat. He loved the ocean. He had planned on studying marine life in university, but dropped out after the first semester so he could work to save for a house for himself and Georg after university. Four years of work and then some wasn’t enough for a house and a boat, so that was always put on the backburner. Thank God they lived by a lake, or Otto wouldn’t have been able to bear it. 

Obviously this was sort of a point of contention in the relationship. They never argued, really. They loved each other dearly, and hid their hurting in secret. Otto wasn’t going to say Georg couldn’t go back to school, because while it would be expensive, it would help them immensely. A boat could get them food, sure, but so could standing on the dock with a fishing rod. And music made Georg happy. All Otto ever wanted was for Georg to be happy. But God, sometimes Otto asked himself if any of this was fucking worth it.

That’s what had happened that night. Otto had just gotten home from work and had begun on dinner, and stopped halfway through. He stared at the wall for a while, and turned off the stove. He didn’t even spare Georg a glance before running from the house, down the gravel path to the lakeshore. His lungs felt like they were filling with water. His feet burned, but he hadn’t bothered to put on his shoes before he left the house.

Immediately, he heard the screen door clatter shut behind him, and Georg calling his name. Otto didn’t slow. He needed to see the water. He knew Georg couldn’t keep up for the full half-mile- Georg was the least athletic man Otto knew. Otto just expected him to give up the run halfway through and go home.

Otto made it with very little strain, slowing down when his feet hit the cool sand. He walked to the water and sat down so that when the waves hit the shore, his toes were touched by the lake’s foam. And to his surprise, Georg had completed the run, although breathlessly. He slumped beside Otto and struggled to breathe, but he had made it. He threw off his socks and let them get wet, too.

The air was fully silent except for the noise of the waves and Georg’s heavy breathing as he caught up with the run he had just done. It took a good few minutes for Georg to find the strength to ask, “What’s wrong, Otto?” And it took a good few minutes from that for Otto to find the strength to mutter, “Just...work.”

“Was it something I said?” Georg asked.

No. They barely spoke besides miniscule greetings between the time Otto came through the door and left. They barely ever spoke after work. And yet, at the same time, it was everything Georg had said. Or done. It was the fact that Georg hadn’t gotten a master’s degree right out of university, or the fact that Georg didn’t want to work if it didn’t involve music, or the fact that Georg and Otto never even spoke anymore apart from chaste kisses before Otto had to leave for his ten millionth shift every morning. But Otto couldn’t say that. He was quiet for a long time.

“Otto,” Georg urged.

Otto just shook his head. “Just work,” he repeated.

“Well, can we talk about it?” Otto could feel the slight irritation in Georg’s voice and winced. He knew they hadn’t been communicating as well as they probably should have been, but Otto would rather die than be a burden to Georg. Georg noticed the shift in expression and shook his head. “Sorry,” he whispered. A minute of silence passed. Georg added, “For my tone, I mean. Not what I said.”

Otto shut his eyes and tried to just let the waves into his head- not Georg. But the waves only told him that he was being cruel and he looked over to Georg. “I’m so tired, Georg,” he admitted hoarsely.

Georg nodded. “I know.”

Georg put his hand on top of Otto’s, but Otto pulled it away. He picked up a small rock nearby and turned it around in his hands. “No. Not just from today. From...always. But you need to go back to school.”

Georg furrowed his brow. “Otto, you know you don’t need three jobs, right?”

Otto shook his head stubbornly, but his chest hurt. The boy who loved the water was drowning, and someone was offering help that he felt he couldn’t take. Fuck.

Georg continued, “I can get a job too, you know. Two, even. My freelance shit isn’t getting us anywhere, anyway.”

Otto chewed his lip. Georg was good at making him feel better, but feeling better was only ever a temporary distraction from the bigger picture.

“Please talk to me, Otto,” Georg urged. “I hate seeing you like this.”

“Well, you never see me anyway because I’m always at work,” Otto muttered.

“What?” It took Georg a moment to realize what Otto had said. “Otto, it doesn’t have to be like that. I’m telling you you can let go of a job or two. You don’t have to suffer on my behalf.” He was trying his best to be kind while Otto was frustrating him, but it was obvious Otto had been sitting on this for a while.

“I’m not suffering, I--” Otto began to snap, but immediately fumbled and quieted once again. He was going to say he loved working, but that wasn’t true. He was stressed beyond belief, and he never had any time to do what he loved or to spend with the people he loved. “I’m not suffering. I’m just...tired,” he decided.

More silence. The silence was absolutely awful to Georg, who was constantly surrounded by sound. Georg tried another approach. “Do you know why I love you, Otto?” He asked. His words were firm, but not cruel.

“Why?” Otto asked, tossing his rock into the lake.

“Because you’re strong. You’re stubborn. You’re passionate. But for fuck’s sake- that makes it so much more difficult to- to fucking talk to you.” He sounded defeated. “And every day I wake up and the very first thing I think is all of our disagreements are worth it because I get to live with my best friend. My best friend is working so hard to save up money so that someday I can make us both enough money to do whatever we want.”

That’s what it took for Otto to break his staring contest with the moon. He turned to Georg with wet eyes. “I’m hardly working. I’m drowning.”

Georg nodded. He put his hand back on top of Otto’s, and this time, he didn’t pull away. “I’ll get a job,” he promised.

Otto leaned his head on Georg’s shoulder. For once, he let himself be held.

Realistically, he probably couldn’t quit any of his jobs. He’d probably need to live like that for a very long time- especially when Georg was back in school and unable to work. But just for tonight, he needed a rest. Just for tonight, he’d push away all of his anxieties regarding money and being a bad provider. Just for tonight, he’d allow Georg to pull him from the tides.

“Okay,” Otto said. “Thank you.”

Just for tonight, Otto could breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> support me and my work [here](https://ko-fi.com/sageyikes) if you enjoyed. if not, a kudos or a comment will do (:


End file.
